7 Weeks PP

I haven't written for a while. The family is doing all right. Matthew is doing great. He's gaining weight, slowly... he's now about 7 lbs. I love him more and more each day. I'm still not getting good sleep, Matt still wakes up every 1.5-2 hrs day and night, eating around 2.5 oz. I guess I'm getting used to it, although I can't wait for him to sleep through the night.

I've been very emotional ever since giving birth to Matthew. I know it's not me, I assume it's due to my hormones trying to get back to normal really fast. My husband didn't seen to understand that it's not me, I bet he still doesn't... but we talked it through and decided to put the arguments a side, and it's working :) What's still really bothering me right now is, my weight... I'm about 137 right now and it seems so hard to lose, for some reason? I also really want to move out right now, rather then to live with the in laws in this cramped up house, sometimes they get on my nerves too, by telling me how to do this and that with the baby, and what not do do, blah blah. Sigh.

Well, Matthew is almost 2 months now, and I've never took him out other then to doctor appointments. If it doesn't rain or snow tomorrow, hopefully I can take him to the mall for some Santa pictures :)

Love...

My ♥ and Soul.

Welcome to the World Little Matthew

October 20, 2010
10:40 am
5lbs 5oz 18 1/2 inches

I went in for my growth scan ultrasound on 10/18 Monday morning, at approximately 9am. The baby was measuring small, about 3 weeks behind. Apparently my baby was diagnosed with IUGR.. for why I'm not so sure, they said possibly my placenta went bad, or something. So according to the doctor, it was safer that I had the baby early, as we can't control what may happen if I were to wait. That same day, I was admitted to the L&D floor to be induced. It was so sudden and shocking for both my husband and I... yet we were super excited.

I was admitted to the labor and delivery floor at around 11am. My labor lasted pretty long, much longer than I thought. Doctors had to put 3 pills in me to get me effaced the way they wanted. I was finally 3cm dilated the night of the 18th, that was when my contractions felt a little strong, but inconsistent. The next day, they finally put me on pitocin, which made my contractions super duper strong. When I finally hit 6cm dilated, I could no longer bear the pain, and so I asked for an epidural at around 9pm. The epidural lasted only about 5-6 hrs. Before asking for another shot, I tried to bear with the pain for just a bit longer. The anesthetist said the EPI alone wouldn't stop the pain for me, so they gave me something else in addition, I believe what they gave me was normally given to people whom get c-sections. Boy did it stop the pain! But then again, the contractions came right back a few hours later, however I was completely numb from waist down. At 10am on 10/20/2010 Wednesday, I was finally 10cm dilated. I was so excited. I was completely calm during the pushing phase, thanks to the epidural and whatever they had given me. I pushed for 25 minutes and finally little Matthew arrived, at 10:40 am being 5lbs 5 oz and 18 1/2 inches in length. We were so happy, nothing could ever describe how I felt that morning.

I had an amazing experience at the L&D floor at University of PA hospital. The nurses and doctors were so nice and generous. I couldn't have asked for more.

Full Term

37 weeks, my son is now considered full term. He's measuring small though, so I'm not sure if he, himself... is exactly full term just yet. I'm having a growth scan ultrasound this coming Monday and I can't wait to see how much he weigh. 3 more weeks til' my son is due, it's amazing, I so can't wait to meet him.

4 Weeks To Go !

BBC: "Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. He now weighs almost 6 pounds and is more than 18 1/2 inches long."

36 weeks, 9 months ! Wow. Next week he'd be full term, and in 4 weeks I'd be due to have him ! It's so exciting, I can't wait. I've gotten basically everything ready. I can't wait to meet my little fella'. The Dr is guessing that he's measuring small, due to my fundal height measurements being 3 weeks behind. There are other reasons as to why I may be measuring small, though. I'll find out during his growth scan on 10/18, I can't wait to see him again. I hope he's growing well.

Measuring Small

I went in for my 35th week check up today. Apparently, my son is measuring 3 weeks behind (rather than 2 weeks like all the other times), nor have I gained any weight this whole month. I'm scheduled for an ultrasound to check on his growth on OCT 18th. I'm pretty excited to see him again, yet I'm so very concerned about his growth. I hope all is well. The dr also checked me for group b strep, didn't get the results yet but at least I got that over with.

On another note, I met with a pediatrician about a month ago, I REALLY do not like the place nor the pediatrician herself. I felt totally rushed, the place looked so dark and gloomy. Not to mention, I had to pay a 45 dollars fee without being notified before hand, I do not trust the place. However, because I had to pay the fee, a part of me feel like I should give them a try... yet I feel like it isn't worth it. I WOULD REALLY just go to the Children's Hospital for my baby's check ups... but my boyfriend insist we should at least give them a chance... I'm not too sure, sigh.

32 Week Dr Visit

Baby Evan's been measuring two weeks behind at every visit. Yesterday, at my appointment, the Dr said he'd be a small baby, ugh he has his daddy's genes all right. I also got to see the dietitian, not that I WANTED to, the nurse kept asking me at every visit if I've seen her, and that it's mandatory. So, I gave in... although I know everything she'd tell me. Let me tell you, she was one rude bitch. As soon as I got in her office, she goes "What can I help you with?" with a totally blank face. Um, hello.. I'm "supposed" to see you.. aren't you supposed to tell me what you think I should know. I was blank, so I pretended not to know, and asked "I need help on constipation". The rude girl, decided to act like I was wasting her time or something, and rushed through everything in a VERY annoying way, nope... she didn't even HIDE it. She asked if I exercise.. I said not really. She said "So, you sit all day?" I said yes, (I kind of do). She widened her eyes and said, you need to do some walking. I laughed and jokingly said it's too hot. She goes "UHH.. it's not even hot out today" DUDE, it was 80 degrees, considering I'M THE PREGNANT ONE, it's REALLY HOT. And please, I've thought of walking, but try living in a bad neighborhood like me... you wouldn't even dare to.

32 Weeks, 8 Months

EIGHT whole months. Wow, I can't believe I'm already this far along, it does seem like forever though. Two more months until' I have this amazing child of mine. I'm going to be a mommy, he's going to be a daddy, WOW. I'm really not a kid anymore, now it's time for me to take care of MY OWN kid. I'm so excited, I can hardly wait. I wonder how much he weigh right now... or how big he is.

Week 31

I can't believe it, I'll be 8 months next week ! Two more months until I get to meet my amazing little guy. I love him so much, I feel such a bond with him already. My belly feels harder these days, and his head has been down, so that's good !

Last night my 15 year old niece in law had her ear against my belly, my boy thinking he's the boss already kicked her in the face ! So cute, haha. He actually did the same thing to his dad last week. He was probably thinking "Hey, this is my spot, get off !" I love my boy.

30 Week Appointment

Yesterday was my 30th week check up at the hospital. Turned out I've lost 2 lbs in two weeks, (my weight changes through out the day so not sure if it matters) I guess it tapered off from gaining too much the last time. Baby Evan kicked the doctor, so cute :) The only thing that annoyed me was that I had to wait in the waiting room for 30 minutes+ to make an appointment, it turned out I could have went home because the nurse had already set up my appointment ahead of time at the last check up. Everything else is good, the doctor did mention the baby's measuring 2 weeks behind, hope the little guy is healthy !

♥ 30 weeks 5 days pregnant with baby Matthew.

Caught in Action

I've recorded some videos of Baby Evan's movements. He's just so adorable. Mommy loves you !

Not feeling good about myself, at all...

I've been so very..... EXTREMELY sensitive with/about my body lately. Any little comment people make about me, gets me thinking about it all day. I feel huge, I'm getting fat/big, and that's a fact. I can't color my hair, or do anything that would make myself feel good. I feel like a lot like CRAP... I mean it.

My grandmother made a bad comment about me yesterday. She said my "nose" isn't very nice, and that my legs are fat. Oh my goodness, I really don't need her to shove any of that crap in my face at this time ! I feel TERRIBLE. I' am capable of watching my weight and staying thin, however this is not the time for me to do that (being pregnant). It's not like I've chosen to become fat, I have NO CHOICE. That's how my body works, I gain weight REALLY REALLY easy. I mean, now that I have to eat right (more than I normally eat before), it's much easier for FAT to take over my body. Right now my top priority is my son and his health, so even though I'm EXTREMELY afraid of this weight gain and getting fat, it doesn't compare to what my son needs. I know she meant no harm... after all she was only stating the truth, but I just sometimes wonder why my family has to be oh so judgmental... ugly this, ugly that... this person is pretty, this person is ugly blah blah. I love them, but I'm so sick of it... I seriously have had enough of the crap people have to say about me. Why is it just so hard to understand that a pregnant body is different from a non-pregnant body ?!

It's a shame that I'm not comfortable under my own skin, around my family. If I can't feel comfortable around them, who else can I go to ? I feel like I have no one to turn to who would seriously understand how tough it is for me to face this struggle. It was HARD for me to lose the weight as a teen, I was afraid to ever gain that weight back. I told myself I'd never let it happen again, however I have to leave that aside at this point. It's really tough for me. People just don't get it. My family are all fairly thin, they will never understand how it is to be the "bigger one". I do share some of these thoughts to some of my family, but they seem to take it "lightly". I don't want to keep this bottled up, but it seems to me that no one really understand, and so I'm sick of letting it out to people. I'm so scared, I don't want to have to go through post-partrum depression...

A Promise ♥

I grew up in an awkward, uptight family. There were a lot of arguments and disagreements in the family. My parents divorced when I was seven. I was really heartbroken, until this day. there's still a scar in me that can never be healed. The image of that day, will never be erased from my memory. I believe things like that can take a toll on the child's life. The road of life would be so much harder for the child. That is why, I will never, ever under ANY circumstances do anything that stupid, to hurt my child. I love my son with all my heart and soul. He's a human being that's growing inside of me, he's my responsibility. He's my LIFE ♥

29 weeks and 3 days pregnant with baby Matthew Vu.

No Good Appointment

So I went in for my regular 2 week check up a couple days ago (at 28 weeks). Nothing went well for me. The weigh in had me so upset. I gained 5 pounds in 2 weeks dude ! Argh. My previous check up was early in the morning when I had nothing to eat, this one was late afternoon so I had quite a bit to eat, maybe that was a factor but I don't think the food made me gain 5 lbs ;( . All my future check ups will be in the after noon, which means my weight will be a tad higher from food, gah ! I guess I'll just eat something light for the appointment days. Anyways, the doctor FORGOT to measure my fundal height, also the way he answered my questions was oh so careless.

I do NOT like the fact that all my appointments will be in the afternoon, I'd so love to have my morning appointments back. Now everything I need to do during the day has to be pushed off because of the appointment being in the middle of the day, so inconvenient !

Third Trimester Pains

So I turned 28 weeks on Saturday, which means I'm now in my third trimester, wo-hoo. I'm feeling quite tired as I type this. Yesterday I went to help out my sister in law at the nail salon, I did about 7 pedicures. I came home with severe joint/muscle pain all over my body. I couldn't even move, nor could I sleep, that's how bad it was... luckily it's getting better today. I just hope these body aches won't stick around forever.

I love my Evan so much, I can't wait to meet him, I already feel much love for him. This little guy is my sunshine.

26 Weeks, 6 1/2 Months

Wow, time is amazing ! Only 98 days to go.

How far along: 26 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: + 20 lbs in all
Size of the baby: According to BBC, about 14 inches from head to heal, weigh about 1 2/3 pounds.
Sex: Boy
Maternity clothes: Bermudas, dresses, baby doll tops.
Sleep: Sleeping very well.
Movement: Recently started to feel him everyday, mostly lower down.
Food cravings: None.
Food aversions: Most sea-foods.
Morning sickness: None.
Symptoms:Leg cramps, lower back pain, constantly pee-ing.
Labor signs: Nope
Belly button in or out: in
Best moment this week: Father in law just got back from a very long vacation, I guess getting the extra attention from him towards baby :)
What I miss: Being skinny
What I'm looking forward to:Dr appointment this upcoming Monday to meet my physician.
Milestones: I can feel my boy more now :)

Weight Gain

So I weighed myself this morning after not stepping on the scale for two weeks, realizing I've gained an additional 4 pounds ! This is ridiculous ! Ah ! I don't know what to do ! This is too much for me (don't get me wrong, I love my son and NEVER will regret having him), this weight gain is out of control. I have to admit I've snacking like crazy, and I just won't stop, it has to stop.. it really has to stop ! I've already gained a total of about 18 pounds throughout this pregnancy of 24w5d, how much more will I put on?! I'm going CRAZY.

Six Months

ACCORDING TO BBC:
Your baby has caught up with an ear of corn in size and gained about 1/4 pound since last week. (Length: almost a foot.)

Your baby's growing steadily, having gained about 4 ounces since last week. That puts him at just over a pound. Since he's almost a foot long, he cuts a pretty lean figure at this point, but his body is filling out proportionally and he'll soon start to plump up. His brain is also growing quickly now, and his taste buds are continuing to develop. His lungs are developing "branches" of the respiratory "tree" as well as cells that produce surfactant, a substance that will help his air sacs inflate once he hits the outside world. His skin is still thin and translucent, but that will start to change soon.

I already for the love for my son. I can not wait to meet him, I've said that a million times but I can't help it. November, please come quick !

Please Consider a Pregnant Woman's Feelings

I've been getting quite a few of those "You're getting big" comments lately. Yeah, thanks I think I already know, and also I believe that's what happens when you're pregnant if you haven't already realized.

A close friend of mine said to me yesterday "You're getting BIG! But your stomach is still small!" What the fudge is that supposed to mean, why don't you just say what was really on your mind, like "OH you're fat!" Sheesh. Like I want to get fat, uhuh.

I used to starve myself or eat once a day only to stay thin. However, now that I'm pregnant things must change. I now eat 3 times a day and I'd eat healthy things that I wouldn't eat before. When I'm hungry, I eat... or else I'd feel like I'm starving the baby. It's not MY FAULT that I'm getting fat, this is for my baby's sake! Wth do people expect me to do, go on a diet while pregnant? Sheesh. I can't do ANYTHING about it until my son arrives, okay? So please consider a pregnant woman's feelings, THANKS!

Halfway There...

We are half way there Evan! Mommy can't wait to meet you! The next five months will seem really long! Mommy promise to try her best to take care of you. I love you, son.

BABY BOY!

We found out today that our baby is a BOY!!! Very excited :)
After we found out, we went straight to baby shopping :) Bought hats, gloves, socks, a pack of sleep n play, 2 plush blankets, bibs... and this GERBER snap on onesie which happens to look SO SMALL and TIGHT! Definitely returning it. Can't wait for more shopping :)

BUMP

Omg, I'm starting to show! (finally at 17 weeks). For some reason it's only noticeable mid-day til' night time though.

Second Appointment

I went to my second prenatal appointment on Wednesday, everything was fine. I was offered the multiple marker test. I gave it a little thought and decided not to take it. I'm keeping the baby no matter what so what's the point of taking the test. I already feel the love for this child, and I'm not willing to take any risks. Oh, good news :) .. I'm scheduled for an U/S appointment on 6/19, YAY! So excited! Definitely going baby shopping right after the appointment :)

He told his mom, unexpectedly.

He finally told his mom! It was totally unexpected. We were supposed to go out of country in August, I'll be 7 months by then and I don't think I'd wanna' travel during that time. She asked why we can't go, he hinted her by rubbing his stomach, her first guess was.. "what, her stomach's acting up again?" & then she finally figured. She was super excited! She kept asking me over and over "Is he lying?!" Haha. I love her!

She rubbed my belly last night, so cute of her. (Although I'm not showing just yet)

Second Trimester

So I've hit the second trimester on Saturday (14 weeks). Getting closer to the due date and very excited :). I really can't wait until my ultrasound date in June. So many things I can't wait to do actually. I can't wait to show, shop for baby stuff and also to meet him/her for the very first time (thinking about it gives me butterflies)! Can't wait for FAMILY TIME ! :)

Nightmares, wierd dreams?

Okay, so I've noticed how weird my dreams have been ever since I got pregnant. I don't always remember my dreams, but lately when I do, it happens to be unpleasant. I was told not to watch scary movies during pregnancy, so I stopped. However, I still get weird dreams and nightmares! One night, I dreamed of being harassed by a spirit, another night I dreamed of my boyfriend desperately trying to cheat on me. Last night, I forgot that I wasn't supposed to watch scary movies, so I watch part of Sorority Row (I turned it off when I realized I shouldn't watch it). I than had a dream as though I myself was in a thriller movie. It was so scary, I don't even want to talk about it :( I just hope these nightmares would go away!

It finally happened!!

So, In March I found out that I'm pregnant. After 6 months of TTC, it finally happened. My first prenatal appointment was on April 19th at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital. I got to hear the baby's heartbeat, it was a very pleasant sound. Now, I'm 12 weeks and 6 days pregnant, although I'm not showing nothing at all. I just can't wait until I start to get a bump just to be assured that the baby's growing.
Yesterday I had a Urinary Tract Infection. I spotted a little bit, but I THINK it's from the UTI since I've experienced the same thing before pregnancy. My next appointment isn't until May 19th, the nurse also told me I get to see my baby (ultrasound) for the first time in the womb on my 20th week, which will be my 3rd Dr's appointment (so excited). Hope all goes well for the baby!